20 Things You Should Start Doing With Your Relationships

Your Relationships With The World.

1. Give people you don’t know a fair chance.

            You never know who you are going to meet on any given day. I met most of my best friends by accident, just being polite and talkative on orders, at school, going to the store even. Its best to give everyone an even standing right off the bat, you might meet your future spouse in long at Starbucks.

2.  Show everyone kindness and respect.

            It is also impossible to know what kind of battles people are facing in the world. Random acts of kindness are powerful things, and I am a firm believer that you can make a positive difference in the world, one person at a time.

3. Accept people just the way they are.

            We didn’t choose what class, race, gender, we are born into, and we going only change so much of it. We all have weird habits and dispositions, and it’s something that can’t be changed, so it’s just easier to accept it, easier for you and for them, too. Win, win.   

4. Do little things every day for others

            I like this one as it helps remind us that there are other people in this world, too. As pointed out in showing kindness, you don’t know what others are going through. Someone could have lost a loved one recently or their parent has cancer. You could make someone’s day and give them hope. Plus it helps you realize that you are not the only one in the world, and it is a good, healthy balance.

5. Give what you want to receive.

            It’s a play off the “treat others how you want to be treated,” and sometimes those age old sayings are still being said for a reason. If someone is a jerk all the time at work, most people are going to try and stay away from them and not be that nice in return. Don’t be the biggest jerk at work and work won’t be the biggest jerk to you. If you do your best for others, when you need help, they will do their best for you.  

6. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

            It’s easier to be yourself in the world, know what you like, and what you support. If you care about something, it is automatically going to be a strong, more thoughtful action than just doing something for the sake of doing it. This is why doing what you love is so important, because you create amazing things when you care. Keeping up with something that isn’t you is confusing, as well as you don’t remember what you say. People around you won’t trust you if you don’t mean what you say, because only a small percentage of what we say is the words from our mouths versus how we say it. Be yourself, and everything else will fall into place.

Your Relationships With Your Friends.

7. Forgive others and move forward.

            No one is perfect in this world, and I read a quote from a woman in her forties that really stuck with me. “Forgive your exes, as they were just figuring the world out, too.” We are all out in the world figuring out ourselves, how to make ends meet, what happens when you do one thing versus another, and we are going to bump our heads. Don’t harbor hate for someone bumping their head on you, it may not be fair but it is unhealthy.

8. Encourage others and cheer for them.

            You don’t need a song like “I Dreamed a Dream,” from Les Miserables to know that life is just hard. We are all being swept under the current by the undertow of life, some more than others, which is why we need to be there and encourage our friends. Our friends need us, even if they don’t say it, and being a supportive arm or ear makes a huge difference. Don’t be another weight on the ankle, be the hand in the boat. They are your friends, after all. 

9. Always be loyal.

            Loyal is being yourself and just taking care of those around you. Being disloyal takes a lot of work, you have to memorize lie patterns and have different masks that have to align perfectly every time that, by probability, is impossible since we are imperfect (being biological, living things). If being loyal for loyal sake seems, boring(?), than just think hey, it’s easier, and it wouldn’t last anyway. Plus it causes a whole lot of drama and that’s just not fun ever. 

10. Stay in better touch with people who matter to you.

            As you grow older, you move away, make new friends, lose friends: it’s an inevitable pattern. Stop the pattern of losing people, message people you care about every once in a while. Facebook is good in this aspect, but don’t just message Average Sally you had math class once while you were a sophomore in high school, I mean your college best friend who you both discovered your identities with. They liked you before it was cool. Also, try to call your family at least once a week. They won’t always be there, time can have a cruel grip.  

11. Keep your promises and tell the truth.

            I try not to make promises if I don’t have to just because I do my best to keep them. As the old genteel saying goes, “What is a man (or woman)’s worth without their word?” To be honest, not much. It’s easier to just be honest, life is too short otherwise. 

12. Allow others to make their own decisions.

            This one can be tough, but it’s the best thing for them. You can give advice, but they have to learn and try the world on their own or they will never learn. Plus, a solution that works for you or me may not work for them. Life gets easier once you decide to do this, too, I learned from experience. 

13. Talk a little less and listen more.

            Too many people don’t listen to listen, they listen to reply. Which is why everyone feels so empty nowadays. If you give someone the time, you can learn some amazing things. I once talked to an older gentleman at an airport and he told me stories about being a Ranger, 82^nd Airborne during the Vietnam War, hiding in the jungle in camouflage he put on from a compact of paint. He went on to tell me about how cobras rise up to six feet and fly through the jungle, and if they got to close to him he had to cut their heads off with his machete so he wouldn’t be discovered. People are fascinating, if you just give them a chance to shine. Plus, if you listen to them, they will probably listen to you; it’s contagious.

Your Relationship With Yourself.

14. Pay attention to your relationship with yourself.

            In life, you always want to be independent enough to be able to take care of yourself, as even your shadow leaves you in darkness. I call this the “enjoy your own company,” where you don’t hate being alone. Hating yourself is one of the worst things in the world you can do for yourself, and that is something that no one and nothing can fix and you will never be truly happy. But, if you enjoy your own company and can be content with yourself, you won’t ever need anyone to be happy. 

15. Pay attention to who your real friends are.

            Everyone comes with their own qualities, but they all come with their own problems. Some people don’t mix well with others, think of it like chemicals. Certain chemicals make sugar, others make poison. Know your buttons and limitations, and you can keep poison from your life. If this is a hard number for you, just remember, the ones causing you pain are not bad people. They just aren’t good for you. They are the gluten in your gluten intolerant body. Others can handle it, but you can’t/they cause you to get sick and it’s no one’s fault. Just gracefully get them out of your life, and you will both be happier in the long run.  

16. Leave petty arguments alone.

            Petty arguments are easy to spot. They are the “who didn’t do this insignificant thing” such as “change the toilet paper in the bathroom,” or “didn’t fill the printer.” If someone is upset enough to pick a fight over something petty, you just don’t want to be involved because they are probably upset about something else and want to take it out on you. Save yourself the trouble, and let them cool down on their own.

17. Ignore un-constructive, hurtful commentary.

            Some people are mean for the sake of being mean. Some people just want to get reactions out of ours, and some are just bullies. Don’t take heed to what they say, it’s just empty words. Don’t drink their nonsense. 

18. Free yourself from negative people.

            Negativity is easy, but it is a slippery slope of bad mental health and drama. Humans are social creatures, and we mimic what others around us do and say. If we hear negative things all the time, we think negatively, act negatively, and are just plain negative. It’s extremely difficult to accomplish anything with negativity, and it is a black hole that can’t not be filled or sedated. So, amputated it, and instead fill your life with positivity and inspiration to accomplish your dreams. You can do it, you just need to believe in yourself, which generally starts in others believing in you, too. 

19. Let go of those who are already gone.

            People come and go. Its life. Sometimes, great relationships come to a close and nothing quenches the flavor they brought to you. But, those people are gone for a reason because they changed, and so did you. The planets of your perfect personality combination have lapsed, and it’s better to just let that kite fly off in the storm as it won’t come back and you don’t need to be blown away trying to bring back something that doesn’t exist anymore. You are worth more than that, and you will find better once you let go. Maybe not immediately, but you will, and the sooner you let go, the better it is.

20. Be your imperfectly perfect self.

            No one is perfect, that is a biological fact. However, there is only one you. Some of the most incredible people I know only do one thing that makes them that way, and that is being themselves. You are who you are, embrace it! You can do some amazing things, just by being yourself, believing in yourself, and surrounding yourself and your life with good, positive, kind people. It’s your life, why not live it to the best that you can.