Your Relationships With The World.
1. Give people you don’t know a fair chance.
You
never know who you are going to meet on any given day. I met most of my best
friends by accident, just being polite and talkative on orders, at school,
going to the store even. Its best to give everyone an even standing right off the bat, you might meet your future spouse in long at Starbucks.
2. Show everyone kindness and respect.
It is
also impossible to know what kind of battles people are facing in the world.
Random acts of kindness are powerful things, and I am a firm believer that you
can make a positive difference in the world, one person at a time.
3. Accept people just the way they are.
We
didn’t choose what class, race, gender, we are born into, and we going only
change so much of it. We all have weird habits and dispositions, and it’s
something that can’t be changed, so it’s just easier to accept it, easier for
you and for them, too. Win, win.
4. Do little things every day for others
I
like this one as it helps remind us that there are other people in this world,
too. As pointed out in showing kindness, you don’t know what others are going
through. Someone could have lost a loved one recently or their parent has
cancer. You could make someone’s day and give them hope. Plus it helps you
realize that you are not the only one in the world, and it is a good, healthy
balance.
5. Give what you want to receive.
It’s
a play off the “treat others how you want to be treated,” and sometimes those
age old sayings are still being said for a reason. If someone is a jerk all the
time at work, most people are going to try and stay away from them and not be
that nice in return. Don’t be the biggest jerk at work and work won’t be the
biggest jerk to you. If you do your best for others, when you need help, they
will do their best for you.
6. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
It’s
easier to be yourself in the world, know what you like, and what you support.
If you care about something, it is automatically going to be a strong, more
thoughtful action than just doing something for the sake of doing it. This is
why doing what you love is so important, because you create amazing things when
you care. Keeping up with something that isn’t you is confusing, as well as you
don’t remember what you say. People around you won’t trust you if you don’t
mean what you say, because only a small percentage of what we say is the words
from our mouths versus how we say it. Be yourself, and everything else will
fall into place.
Your Relationships With Your Friends.
7. Forgive others and move forward.
No one is perfect in this world, and
I read a quote from a woman in her forties that really stuck with me. “Forgive
your exes, as they were just figuring the world out, too.” We are all out in
the world figuring out ourselves, how to make ends meet, what happens when you
do one thing versus another, and we are going to bump our heads. Don’t harbor
hate for someone bumping their head on you, it may not be fair but it is
unhealthy.
8. Encourage others and cheer for them.
You
don’t need a song like “I Dreamed a Dream,” from Les Miserables to know that life is just hard. We are all being
swept under the current by the undertow of life, some more than others, which
is why we need to be there and encourage our friends. Our friends need us, even
if they don’t say it, and being a supportive arm or ear makes a huge
difference. Don’t be another weight on the ankle, be the hand in the boat. They
are your friends, after all.
9. Always be loyal.
Loyal is being yourself and just taking care of those around you. Being
disloyal takes a lot of work, you have to memorize lie patterns and have
different masks that have to align perfectly every time that, by probability,
is impossible since we are imperfect (being biological, living things). If
being loyal for loyal sake seems, boring(?), than just think hey, it’s easier,
and it wouldn’t last anyway. Plus it causes a whole lot of drama and that’s
just not fun ever.
10. Stay in better touch with people who matter to you.
As you
grow older, you move away, make new friends, lose friends: it’s an inevitable
pattern. Stop the pattern of losing people, message people you care about every
once in a while. Facebook is good in this aspect, but don’t just message
Average Sally you had math class once while you were a sophomore in high
school, I mean your college best friend who you both discovered your identities
with. They liked you before it was cool. Also, try to call your family at least
once a week. They won’t always be there, time can have a cruel grip.
11. Keep your promises and tell the truth.
I try
not to make promises if I don’t have to just because I do my best to keep them.
As the old genteel saying goes, “What is a man (or woman)’s worth without their
word?” To be honest, not much. It’s easier to just be honest, life is too short
otherwise.
12. Allow others to make their own decisions.
This
one can be tough, but it’s the best thing for them. You can give advice, but
they have to learn and try the world on their own or they will never learn.
Plus, a solution that works for you or me may not work for them. Life gets
easier once you decide to do this, too, I learned from experience.
13. Talk a little less and listen more.
Too
many people don’t listen to listen, they listen to reply. Which is why everyone
feels so empty nowadays. If you give someone the time, you can learn some
amazing things. I once talked to an older gentleman at an airport and he told
me stories about being a Ranger, 82nd Airborne during the Vietnam
War, hiding in the jungle in camouflage he put on from a compact of paint. He
went on to tell me about how cobras rise up to six feet and fly through the
jungle, and if they got to close to him he had to cut their heads off with his
machete so he wouldn’t be discovered. People are fascinating, if you just give
them a chance to shine. Plus, if you listen to them, they will probably listen
to you; it’s contagious.
Your Relationship With Yourself.
14. Pay attention to your relationship with yourself.
In
life, you always want to be independent enough to be able to take care of
yourself, as even your shadow leaves you in darkness. I call this the “enjoy
your own company,” where you don’t hate being alone. Hating yourself is one of
the worst things in the world you can do for yourself, and that is something
that no one and nothing can fix and you will never be truly happy. But, if you
enjoy your own company and can be content with yourself, you won’t ever need
anyone to be happy.
15. Pay attention to who your real friends are.
Everyone
comes with their own qualities, but they all come with their own problems. Some
people don’t mix well with others, think of it like chemicals. Certain
chemicals make sugar, others make poison. Know your buttons and limitations,
and you can keep poison from your life. If this is a hard number for you, just
remember, the ones causing you pain are not bad people. They just aren’t good
for you. They are the gluten in your gluten intolerant body. Others can handle
it, but you can’t/they cause you to get sick and it’s no one’s fault. Just
gracefully get them out of your life, and you will both be happier in the long
run.
16. Leave petty arguments alone.
Petty
arguments are easy to spot. They are the “who didn’t do this insignificant
thing” such as “change the toilet paper in the bathroom,” or “didn’t fill the
printer.” If someone is upset enough to pick a fight over something petty, you
just don’t want to be involved because they are probably upset about something
else and want to take it out on you. Save yourself the trouble, and let them
cool down on their own.
17. Ignore un-constructive, hurtful commentary.
Some
people are mean for the sake of being mean. Some people just want to get
reactions out of ours, and some are just bullies. Don’t take heed to what they
say, it’s just empty words. Don’t drink their nonsense.
18. Free yourself from negative people.
Negativity
is easy, but it is a slippery slope of bad mental health and drama. Humans are
social creatures, and we mimic what others around us do and say. If we hear
negative things all the time, we think negatively, act negatively, and are just
plain negative. It’s extremely difficult to accomplish anything with negativity,
and it is a black hole that can’t not be filled or sedated. So, amputated it,
and instead fill your life with positivity and inspiration to accomplish your
dreams. You can do it, you just need to believe in yourself, which generally
starts in others believing in you, too.
19. Let go of those who are already gone.
People
come and go. Its life. Sometimes, great relationships come to a close and
nothing quenches the flavor they brought to you. But, those people are gone for
a reason because they changed, and so did you. The planets of your perfect
personality combination have lapsed, and it’s better to just let that kite fly
off in the storm as it won’t come back and you don’t need to be blown away
trying to bring back something that doesn’t exist anymore. You are worth more
than that, and you will find better once you let go. Maybe not immediately, but
you will, and the sooner you let go, the better it is.
20. Be your imperfectly perfect self.
No
one is perfect, that is a biological fact. However, there is only one you. Some
of the most incredible people I know only do one thing that makes them that
way, and that is being themselves. You are who you are, embrace it! You can do
some amazing things, just by being yourself, believing in yourself, and
surrounding yourself and your life with good, positive, kind people. It’s your
life, why not live it to the best that you can.
